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In today’s #RandyTales, our hero talks about the most important resident of Castle Snark… besides Nana…

Castle Snark is a sanctuary to all who seek it. But it is home in the truest sense to my family. Even Rubio – the twelve pounds of fuzz and fury – acts to protect it in his cute and annoying way. But there is one more member of the household who deserves acknowledgement even though most have never met him.

His name is Pocoyo. He is the Conductor’s best friend. He is his confidant, knowing all the things that are in the Conductor’s neurodivergent mind. He is who I talk to when I need the Conductor to understand something that same neurodivergent mind might not understand fully. Pocoyo also gives insights into what is going on with the Conductor to all of us like some weird squeaky voiced narrator.

Did I mention Pocoyo is a stuffed doll?

Let me repeat this – my fourteen year old son has a stuff toy that he talks to and we all talk to him like he is real. If you have ANY issue with this, kindly FUCK RIGHT OFF!

Before anyone with a psychology degree from GoogleShitTooMuch University wants to weigh in on this subject, let me say that the Conductor has been seen by ACTUAL doctors and mental health professionals who have no problem with this. This is an autism thing. The stuffed whatever is a source of comfort and helps to regulate emotions, especially anxiety. It allows them to be grounded in “our” world while still living in “their” world.

Pocoyo was a gift for the Conductor’s 2nd birthday. There was a children’s show about Pocoyo and his friends that was made in Spain and dubbed for English audiences by Stephen Fry. Totally engaging for the littlest Degenerates and fucking hilarious for older, more altered big ones. And Conductor bonded with the cartoon at the same time he did with Thomas the Tank Engine.

As someone with their own “personality disorders”, I have struggled with how to present Pocoyo. I won’t project my own insecurities onto the Conductor, but I also don’t want to give the cruel world more ammunition against him. It took more years of therapy & trauma than the Conductor has been alive to even be comfortable talking about Precious and the rest of my Faces. And I don’t want others to see this as a bad thing with him.

And then I met Mr. Bertram Bear. Mr. Bertram Bear is the friend of my friend Kitt’n. He is a stuffed bear. He can always be seen at events with her. He has been to Burning Man more times than you. He has seen and done some shit! He went on an adventure at Meow Wolf Santa Fe one time (probably looking for hookers & blow) and got lost. People rallied to find him – not because he was a lost toy, but a missing comrade… who hopefully found at least the blow. My all too brief meeting with Mr. Bertram Bear, I understood that it isn’t about me or society – it is about giving tools to help navigate this cruel social construct we are trying to dismantle.

Dolls & toys aren’t for “kids” of either gender. That is some bullshit WE were taught by people who were taught that being an adult meant not having fun. We were given these items as comfort & stability in our youth, then told to let them go. Why? So we could replace them with dysfunctional relationships and substance abuse? Some archaic bullshit “right of passage” into being controlled by the same system that sees differences as weaknesses?


So, Pocoyo is part of the family and as such goes on adventures with us. He has been to Disneyland. He will probably be out at SNRG this year (yet another costume I have to figure out for someone else). He will one day go to Burning Man. I look forward to Pocoyo & Mr. Bertram Bear meeting and the adventures they will have. And maybe they will host a Stuffie Appreciation Party, and encourage everyone to bring *their* stuffies, lovies, or whatever childhood relics have been shoved in a box and brought out to celebrate all of us and what got us here.

Burning Man 2027 – The Year of the Stuffies!

(NOTE TO FUTURE SELF – Pack extra party supplies)