In today’s #RandyTales, our hero doesn’t REALLY want to talk about it… but that isn’t REALLY his thing…
No one reading these words will doubt my love for the Queen of Zebras. And you shouldn’t. She is creative, beautiful, wonderful, sexy, and all around amazing. She is my goddess, my muse, my Valkyrie, my Art Director, my closest confident…
And now she is my ex.
How we got there is frankly no one’s business – except ours. I will ALWAYS love her for all that she has given and done for me. I will always hope the feeling is mutual. There are things that she needs in her life that I can not provide her, and things that I need that she can not provide me. As strong as our attraction and passion has been – the truth is that sometimes it just doesn’t work.
I heard the term “conscious uncoupling” many years ago from a friend when he described his divorce. Remove yourself from the situation before it gets bad. Because when it gets bad, that is when the pain comes. That is when things get nasty – an infection that can eat away at people. Some people may call it “giving up”. And they may be right. I see it more as trying to save something of that magic we had and see what could come next.
For our friends – yeah – it may be a little weird. There may be be some awkward interactions. Those are for us to figure out. What you can do is simply love us as the individuals we are. Never pick sides. See all the amazing times that we got to have, and remember those above all.
As much as I hate giving advice, I would like to give some to her next suitor… assuming he ever reads this:
Always take care of her basic needs… and if you don’t know what those are, figure it the fuck out. See her faults and love her for them. Know what you want – she ain’t got time on her schedule for you to fuck around and find out. Be prepared for that knee jerk reaction… cause it will knock your block off if you aren’t. You are dancing with a goddess who runs with a group of larger than life personalities, mythic figures, forgotten deities, and ancient warriors. It is blessing to be a part of that world – do not be intimidated or insecure because those are definitely not attractive traits.
And know that I will always have her back and yours – if you accept it. If she thinks you’re worthy, I will be your biggest proponent and cheerleader. I’ll always be there to give insights that I am uniquely qualified for. She can be a handful… two if you don’t mind me being lewd… and you probably should get used to that. But she can make everything better if you do the same for her.
But also know this – it isn’t a lack of love that separated us. She will always mean more to me than practically anyone. So if you harm her in any way… I will hunt you down. I will let loose all the chaos and madness in me onto you. I will take your head and mount it on my wall at Castle Snark, a sign to other potential suitors that NO ONE HURTS HER. This is your ONLY warning.
No pressure!
Is this the end of our story? I wish I knew. We have done this divine dance across many, many lifetimes. Maybe this is really the end of our Tale. Maybe we’ll be friends for all eternity. And maybe we’ll capture lighting a third time. I really wish I knew.
But where is the magic in knowing?