In today’s #RandyTales, our hero makes new friends, catches up with old friends, and finds new friends in old friends… and there are boobies and drugs involved in this…
One of the biggest thing to come out of this journey of healing I have been is that I have no idea who I am becoming. This isn’t another Face of mine. This is a version of me that has never existed before. This is the healthiest I have ever been in my entire life.
I was slightly anxious about going to a friend’s birthday party because it would be the first interaction with my former Art Director, Zebra. It had been a few months since I had seen her & most of our interactions previously were not my finest. I did the best I could at the time. We weren’t there yet, despite what I thought.
Have I mentioned my therapist earns the money I pay him every week?
Oh… you’re waiting for the boobs & drugs… FlNE!
I have mentioned before I am horrible at remembering names. I have done all the usual suggestions for remembering but I have found the combination of flesh and drugs really connects to those synapses. Except I have used this device SOOOO much that well now that isn’t working. So what is a dirty old Santa to do?
Why we start getting real weird with it. And hence forth Two Bumps was christen! Which is not a definition of her boobies, which were ample, perky, and delicious! While telling another new friend whose name I already remembered this solid piece of learning wanted to do this as well. And princesses always get what they want.
BTW – new people – I always give aliases to the players in this shit show telenovela. You out yourself, that is on you!
At one point in the evening, I mentioned to Goddess that I was going to take a half of a pill. I have never taken a “half of a pill” of anything in my life. And I made mention of this fact to her. This was a new me – not escaping but celebrating. Who the fuck is this guy?!
I decided to go share this with my always & never Zebra. Not nearly as mind blowing as her kissing my Goddess, but see above about dirty old Santa. We talked for a while. I don’t know this version of her. She isn’t my Santa friend of 15 years. She isn’t my partner of almost 7. She is this new super ex-girlfriend.
And she is fucking nuts!
Her friend – who I appreciate being the rational one who wants to be friends with both of us – was telling me about how bonkers she has been. I replied that I broke her. I broke her good! And she put herself back together. Those walls I had banged my head and heart on for YEARS were finally down. And she too is getting to be the best version of herself.
I had a lot of good conversations and connections because I was present. I was able to communicate that I don’t want to have a lot of long overdue hard conversations because I don’t want to trigger anyone – especially myself. I was able to show this new me to those who were ready to see it – not the finished product but show the work.
We had to leave early – right?! Who the fuck is this guy?! I went to say goodbye to Zebra, who was telling those around her how much she adored Goddess and how perfect we were for each other. Approval from the former administration isn’t a requirement on this journey, but it does make things easier… maybe?
This new chapter of my life is starting strong. I feel healthier than I have ever been. I look pretty fucking good for an almost 50 year old degenerate. And I have dealt with most of the lingering issues.
Yeah… I am *really* starting to like this guy!